Where There Were No Doors

Follow your bliss and doors will open where there were no doors before - Joseph Campbell

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Speculative remote viewing

My friend Johann Rissle sent me an email yesterday. Reading an email from Johann is never less than eyebrow-raising. In this particular missive he stated confidently that the Asian tsunami was not a natural disaster at all.

Johann, I should point out, always takes a confident stance when expounding his more bizarre theories. It's as though if he says something in the same tone of voice as he'd say "one plus one equals two", then it must be equally true. He believes this to be the purpose of the television news, incidentally.

It's a system that's gotten him into trouble several times. It's also a system that has gotten me into trouble several times (on those occasions I've taken his advice). But every now and then, one of his stranger beliefs turns out to be true, and suddenly - in his eyes at least - all others are vindicated too.

This is compounded by the fact that Johann's sources usually tend to be mystical in nature. And it's hard to convince a perma-stoned Dutch bass-player who has dedicated his life to "danger, adventure, sex, drugs and rock music" that not everything the voices tell him is true.

Anyways, in this case Johann was using a technique that he calls "speculative remote viewing". This isn't exactly the same as 'regular' remote viewing, in that regular remote viewing does not rely upon the rapid consumption of enough pot to knock a large herd of elephants off their trolley. Johann's trick, y'see, is to smoke until he literally passes out. While he does this he meditates on a particular place, and whatever mad ideas he gets about that place - just before he loses consciousness - are true.

"Three days ago", Johann tells me, "I viewed the epicentre of the earthquake remotely. There was something there. Something not natural. There was a machine there. Or a bomb. But it seemed more like a machine than a bomb. Somebody did this! It was not a natural disaster. It was not an Act Of God. It was cold-blooded murder."

Exactly one year ago, Johann insisted that the earthquake that killed between 20 and 40 thousand Iranians in Bam was the first test of a "seismic weapon". And actually, I do recall him talking about it this time last year.

Now of course he's convinced that the earthquake which caused the tsunami in Asia was a further deployment of that weapon. He claims there were several reasons for this...
  • the target was chosen to maximise the physical area affected by the disaster; thereby turning it into a long-running global news story, and removing the spotlight from Iraq during the run up to the elections in a few weeks;
  • to get some good P.R. for the US military via the media images of US battle groups providing assistance to Islamic Indonesia;
  • most importantly... as further demonstration to China of the threat of the weapon.
It's the sort of theory that makes you realise just how much pot is being smoked in Hollywood.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

(anon is actually iotar)

Has anyone actually compared the figures for the "enormous relief effort" with the costs of war (and peace) in Iraq. I suspect the former compares to the latter in the manner of Earth to Jupiter.

6/1/05 10:08  

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