Where There Were No Doors

Follow your bliss and doors will open where there were no doors before - Joseph Campbell

Friday, January 07, 2005

This blog entry replaces today's scheduled entry for reasons explained within

Listen, I fucked up. And I'm sorry. But if nothing else, you gotta give me points for honesty. I didn't have to tell anyone about this... could have kept schtumm... just acted as though nothing had happened. No one would have been the wiser. But if honesty's the best policy, then why choose any other?

The fact is, todays blog entry was very nearly done. It was a long rant about the evils of reality television. I was really quite savage in places. It was - of course - sparked off by the grim realisation that Germaine Greer has agreed to take part in the latest incarnation of Celebrity Big Brother. But it went off on all sorts of interesting tangents and took in all manner of diverse issues. I complained bitterly about the disrespectful and downright tawdry way in which a bunch of vacuous television producers have distorted and nullified the language and imagery created by Orwell as a warning to future generations. I illustrated their nihilism by reminding people that it was they who first came up with the idea of trying to turn prehistory into just another shabby marketing commodity. I compared reality programming to landfill run-off, and suggested that banning such shows is not censorship, but rather is the only effective way to handle a genuine public health emergency.

If a company is dumping toxic waste into a lake, I argued, we shouldn't just remind people that they can choose not to swim there if they don't like it. And reality television, by trying so very hard to cheapen what it means to be a human being, is just as much a danger to our culture as a containerful of PCBs is to the environment of a lake. Well, that was the line I took anyways.

Though naturally I went on quite a bit longer than that. It was easy to see I was working up a full head of steam when I got onto subjects like authenticity, and the commodification of the human soul. A few people were called ignorant wankers I'm sorry to say. Others were described as "symptomatic of a wider malaise within our cultural milieu"... a reference that only Justin would have found amusing. And still others... many millions of you I'm afraid... were "unwitting dupes of The Man". I even went so far as to call many of you "willing participants in a social experiment of supreme ugliness".

What can I say? I was on a roll.

But then I fucked up. I hit the 'Publish Post' button instead of the 'Save as Draft' button. Now normally that wouldn't be a problem. It was incomplete, sure, but so what? Just deactivate it immediately and tidy it up. It being published on the web for 10 seconds in an unfinished state is hardly that big a problem. Or so you'd think. But, thanks to a total brainfart, I clicked the back button, then thought "no, that's stupid... it's publishing the damn pages" and then thought "oh fuck, have I interrupted an important process?" and went to hit "Stop" but hit "Refresh" instead. Irritated beyond belief by this sequence of events, I then compounded the problem by clicking on the "Save as Draft" button when it suddenly reappeared. There were straws and paralysed camels everywhere.

It's important I stress that I don't hold blogger responsible for this. In order to pay the bills, I pretend to be a professional web-developer, so I know all about the robustness (or lack of) of Content Management Systems. And blogger is excellent software. I just like to prove that nothing is idiot proof when I'm around.

The upshot though, is that you've been robbed of a tasty slice of vitriol through no fault of your own. And there's just no way I could re-write it now I'm afraid. See, having realised that I'd lost the bastid thing, I sighed "Fuck it! It's Friday night" and filled my pot pipe. And now, quite frankly, I'm feeling a little too mellow to do justice to the piece. It wouldn't have anything like the same tone.

From: "reality television is in fact poisoning reality itself. It's imposing an entirely new model of human authenticity upon us all, and those involved in its production must and shall not remain unpunished for their sins against culture."
To: "aw shit, let them do their thing. It's sick and it's wrong... but I'll just avert my eyes."

See? Pathetic. It's just so difficult to get enthusiastic about visiting righteous bloody violence upon faceless television executives after you've smoked some mellow skunk. Bah!

Tomorrow I'll get hold of some crack and a hunting knife... I promise you a much more exciting blog entry.

1 Comments:

Blogger Joe said...

Hey JimBliss!

Thanks for visiting my blog the other day.

I don't like reality TV programs either, and you captured well in some choice phrases what I've felt.

I see that it pushed your buttons and then you started pushing the wrong button! Maybe in an odd way "reality TV" on this occasion wasn't a bad thing. As an occasion of your vitriolic outrage, it lead you to your potpipe.

So, if now you're "feeling a little too mellow to do justice to the piece" maybe it's because your potpipe is helping you do justice to your "peace".

Stay mellow! I wish you Bliss, Jim!

Joe

8/1/05 00:54  

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