Where There Were No Doors

Follow your bliss and doors will open where there were no doors before - Joseph Campbell

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Me! Me!

Whoa... between work and peak oil, it's all a bit full-on around here just now (excellent Brian Eno album notwithstanding). Work-wise; I've just finished one of the projects I've been doing, and am on the final furlong of another one. Having my PC explode really knocked the stuffing out of my schedule though, and it'll be another week I suspect, before I'm completely caught up.

On top of that, there's been another couple of (non-work) incidents which have really made the past week a major hassle. I'll not bore you with the details... let's just say that I'm very stressed just now, and I could really do with a holiday that's not going to happen. Arse.

And if that wasn't bad enough; my writing really suffers when I'm stressed (yes, yes, cue unfunny comment about how I must be very stressed all the time, then). My already meandering style becomes wildly unfocussed and I end up following connections from tangents off tangents and covering six different subjects in the space of a few paragraphs.

Hell, this entry started off as a response to a rather silly "Superhero" blog meme that's doing the rounds, and it's only now - in paragraph four - that I'm getting round to even mentioning the thing!

But what the hell, it's not like you have to read any of this. Not unless you've had your eyelids surgically removed prior to being strapped into a chair in front of an IMAX screen displaying my blog in real time of course.

However. If that is the case...... Well..... I'm sure you'll soon come to agree that it's for the best.

Anyways, via the very groovy Justin at Chicken Yoghurt comes the Superhero Meme Thang (note: as an example of just how unfocussed I am at the moment, let me point out that when I popped over to Chicken Yoghurt to cut'n'paste the questions on the Superhero meme post, I stumbled upon this post about my peak oil article and spent 20 minutes reading the comments and composing a really rather unsatisfactory response). Hmmmm...

The Superhero Meme (or: One Day I Shall Create A Real SpiderMan! Even If I Have To Subject Another 30 Teenagers To Horrible Deaths By Radiation Poisoning And Spider Venom)

1. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why? (Assume you also get baseline superhero enhancements like moderately increased strength, endurance and agility.)

This is quite easy actually, as I wrote some short stories back in the day, featuring a superhero with the power to bestow spiritual enlightenment on people (his name was "Karma Man" - obvious David Bowie reference - hey! I was a lot younger). Of course, I'd want to leave out the whole Dorian Grayish back-story.

Each new issue of the comic (or film in the franchise - depends how big we're aiming here) would have me tackling some ruthless dictator who is desperately trying to escape being zapped into a fulfilled and centered human being. The ongoing plot arc would involve me and my crew tracking down Bush and Blair who have gone to ground and control an army of hideously mutated soldiers... created by extracting the souls from inmates of Guantanamo Bay (using a fiendish device developed by a crazed scientist funded by the Christian Right)... and who, because of their lack of souls, are therefore immune to my superpower.

(In the original stories the mutants were created by kidnapping pot-heads and using the device on them... but I thought I'd spice it up a little).

Yeah, that's definitely the superpower for me.

That, or the ability to transform mustard into ketchup. Either one really.

2. Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you fancy, and why?
I'm very glad to see that - according to the self-appointed arbiter or these things (internationalhero.co.uk) - that kick-ass pagan witch Willow is considered a superhero. And rightly so! She's a hero, and she is rather super. As I may have mentioned before - I have a bit of a thing for post-Season 4 Willow. Whatchagonna do? Gorgeous and powerful with more than a hint of gothy darkness, and yet she's a computer geek with a really high IQ at the same time!

Also, the whole season 6 thing with the dark magicks / drug addiction metaphor and psychedelics and the fact that she ends up as The Big Bad, tortures a misogynist rapist murderer to death in a very full on manner and then almost allows her grief to destroy the universe...? All I can say is "Wow!"

Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you hate?
Can't say that any of them have ever gotten a reaction beyond "irritation", perhaps - at a stretch - "mild dislike". I was never too enamoured with the cape and lycra brigade. And reserve particular contempt for any of them who namecheck their nationality (Captain America, Captain Britain, Capitao Brasil, Capitan Italia, etc.)

What would your superhero name be? (No prefab porn-name formulas here, you have to make up the name you think you'd be proud to mask under.)
As mentioned before, Karma Man is an ace name in my view. That said, I'd also like to adopt the King Mob moniker for a while. King Mob is an anarchist superhero whose actual identity changes from time to time. There was a King Mob in the 1880's... another one in the 1920's, and so on... the most famous of them all, of course, is the most recent incarnation... the one depicted here. And it'd only take three years of intensive combat training to bring me up to speed really... I'm a natural at everything else required (cough, cough).

Is there an "existing" superhero with whom you identify/whom you would like to be?
Well, I guess the King Mob thing kind of applies here. Of course, I haven't yet shot or blown up nearly enough people to truly identify with him, but there's still time.

(anyone who doesn't relish the ambiguity of a superhero who is a cold-blooded murderer in the name of his self-selected "higher cause" can stay in their capes and silly pants).

Pass it on. Three people please, and why they are the Chosen Ones...
Well, I dunno about this; it's a terrible burden to lay on someone. But lay it I shall.

Even though he only posts about once every two months (i.e. he won't respond to this), stoatie over at Kerosene Oyster Hell would write something very funny in response. And I imagine that L at Random Speak would also write something amusing. I'd also be interested in reading Peter Cuthbertson's response (though for different reasons).


Blogger L said...

heh heh. I'll have to think about that one, although I may not be posting again until Monday (may be offline for a couple of days due to moving).

I'm sorry to hear that you're stressed. I recommend a nice, soothing massage by a buxom Swedish woman. That should do the trick.

17/6/05 04:16  
Blogger Stoatie said...

Well, whaddyaknow, I read it! Gimme a couple of days; I'm working on my answers right now... there's just so much spandex-clad "thinly-veiled wrestling" goodness to choose from.

Hmm... King Mob, you say? And posting at 17:23, eh, Mr Stargrave (or can I call you The Gidster)?

Seconding the massage thing, though I'd go for Norwegian- you might be able to get her to burn down a couple of churches afterwards...

25/6/05 08:53  
Blogger abigail said...

I really like your conversation on drug rehab. I have a drug rehab secrets blog if you wanna come on over and check my stuff out.

4/9/05 19:37  

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