Where There Were No Doors

Follow your bliss and doors will open where there were no doors before - Joseph Campbell

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Doomsayer

"Do'nt (sic) you ever get tired of being a doomsayer?" asks one correspondent.

Now normally I'd correct the typo rather than draw attention to it like the cheap shot it is. But the correspondent also called me "a fucking idiot", signed his name as "Proud American Citizen!" (including exclamation mark) and made some remarks which suggests that not only has he read far more of my blog than I ever expected of any one person, but has been building up a whole frustrated grudge thing for quite some time. So he doesn't get any freebee copy-editing from me.

Anyways, Proud American Citizen!, how can I ever get tired of something that clearly makes people like you very angry? "Doom!" I'll say, just when you're least expecting it. And then I'll just run off.

Often if I'm buying something from a shop, the exchange will go something like this... "Hallo there my dear man! Could I have a copy of 'The Guardian', a pint of soya milk, some king-size cigarette papers, 3 magazines of your finest pornography, a cadbury's creme-egg, and 6 litres of tequila please?" To which the shopkeeper will reply; "That'll be fifty seven of your excellent new pounds, my good sir" (we really speak like that over here in Europe... but it's just to piss off Americans... when there's no Americans around we've all got natural Texan accents and eat beefburgers 'til we're sick). Then, just as the shopkeeper is handing me back the change from the three twenties... I look nervously over both my shoulders to make sure nobody is eavesdropping, lean over the counter a little closer to the shopkeeper, and loudly whisper "Doom!" Immediately afterwards I sprint out of the shop at top speed.

So you see, I take my doom-saying seriously. And doubt I'll ever get tired of it.

1 Comments:

Blogger L said...

it's so sad; this country is full of people like that-- especially where I live: Southern Baptist Central...

5/8/05 22:34  

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